'My boss expects me to work crazy long hours. How do I say no?'

In her careers advice column, the Telegraph's work expert Louisa Symington-Mills advises a reader whose boss is pressuring her into staying late at the office

How do you tell your boss you don't want to work late? Photo: ALAMY

My manager is working extreme hours to prove a point to her own boss and is often still in the office late at night. It’s driving me into the ground, as she also expects me to follow her working pattern – which is completely unreasonable for my level of seniority and pay. How can I ease off the accelerator without looking like I’m not committed?

Your dilemma points at a fundamental problem – our embedded culture of presenteeism. In a survey last year by recruitment firm Morgan McKinley,73 per cent of the professionals who replied said they were working more than their contracted hours. Three-quarters of these said that these excessive working hours are having some impact, or a major impact, on their work-life balance. While two-thirds of respondents felt obliged to work in excess of their contracted hours.

Working more than 48 hours a week is, in theory, completely voluntary - the law says that workers don't usually have to work more than this a week on average, unless they choose to. Except that in many industries and sectors, employment contracts often ask you to opt out of this protection. Meaning if you want the job? You put in the hours.

_{Some jobs expect employees to work nonstop (Devil Wears Prada)}

And to make things worse, we know now that long hours do not necessarily translate into great productivity. Our economy is growing at its fastest rate in nine years, but we are less productive, collectively, on a per-hour basis than other countries.

Experts have called it a productivity puzzle – and we need to address it fast. So George Osborne last week outlined his plan for productivity to help UK plc boost its output.

And boy do we need a plan, because simply working more – working longer – isn’t, well, working at all.

Establish some parameters

It’s also not working in terms of employee work-life balance.

Your manager’s need to prove a point to her boss by being endlessly present at work is, understandably, causing you huge difficulties. Her being in the office late into the evening pressures you to do the same, even though such a schedule is in itself unnecessary for you.

You don’t need to ‘ease off’ the accelerator – in fact, in using this phrase you show your own subconscious connection between presenteeism, productivity and progression. You do, however, need to establish some parameters for your own working day by taking presenteeism out of the picture, and ensuring you maximise your productivity and visibility during the hours you are in the office.

So first of all, be clear in your mind what you do want.

You clearly aren’t happy working in the way you currently are, and I presume there isn’t an obvious end in sight for your manager’s insistence on working into the small hours. If you’d like to aim for a consistent finish time then consider what that would be. If what you’re hoping for might result in less time than your contracted hours, it may be you need to make a flexible working request.

Challenge your boss

But assuming for now you still wish to continue as per your existing contract terms - but with a more reasonable finish time - I would suggest a very direct conversation with your manager.

It may be that it simply hasn’t crossed her mind that you’re not keen on hanging around the office until she decides it’s time to go home. Even if this has occurred, she is probably not expecting you to challenge her.

_{Stand up for yourself (Devil Wears Prada)}

Standing your ground and speaking up are the best ways to move this forwards. If she rejects your request, then you will need to involve someone more senior, or HR.

When you have your conversation, make sure you do the following:

1. Emphasise clearly your enjoyment of the work you do, and being as assertive as you can, explain why you cannot keep doing the hours you’re doing.
2. Highlight your productivity during the daytime and discuss ways in which you can support her in her work, without you having to be in the office with her at 10pm.
3. Remind her of your work successes and why you’re good at your job.
4. Stress your commitment to your role, but be clear about your need for work/life balance. If leaving work late means you’re struggling to get by on too-little sleep, then say so.
5. Reiterate your motivation and desire to progress, and the ways you’re putting this into action by focusing on producing great work and raising your profile.

The hardest part, in fact, will likely not be having this conversation but enforcing your preferred departure time and maintaining your assertiveness to protect the boundary line you’ve drawn up.

But it’s important you do keep to it as much as you can, unless there is a very clear reason for you to be in the office late.

If your manager asks you to help out with a non-urgent task five minutes before you were about to head out of the door, you’ll need to be bold and ask if it can wait until morning. You never know – your example might just rub off on her.